Believing in the unknown.

I don't know exactly where to begin.
Life is events after events, but these events that occur can be very personal. They either bring strong emotions of joy or of pain.
Sometimes these events feel like all that happens is the bad, at least that's what you tend to think about more, the negative instead of the positive. And honestly, that's how I've been. I just have felt that life won't leave me alone, the pain seams to never end.
From a car accident, to money issues, to school problems it just seems to continue.
And it does, the bad will always continue. And many times the good seems very small incomprehension. But one thing that has held me strong against plain old life is my faith.
I became a Christian very young.
I became a Christian because God loved me and that was all I needed, such purity and simplicity that when you get older you tend to make it logical and abs-cued.
However some of that innocence remained as I got older. As I wondered and asked question that I felt were "un_christian," of me, (because asking God questions of his existence is terrible... not) I would just sit and think "What if I wasn't a Christian, how would I be" or "Is what I believe real?" I always would end up talking to God and saying of course your real, of course this is true, no matter how strong my doubt might be, it's really just feeling, and my feelings are no match for the love God has for me. As many times as I'd ask these questions, the overcoming feeling of being loved by a God who created my inmost being trumped everything.

I had asked my self one day "Could I ever leave God?" as I asked this, I thought and said to my self rather loudly "there's no way, I can't leave him, leaving God would be leaving my very life. However evil my flesh would be to long to leave the very God I love, My heart and Spirit could never part from him. The very thought made me laugh, knowing it would never and can never happen. It's not that I'm grounded in knowing who I am, cause I don't think you'll ever know who you truly are until the day you meet your maker. neither is it knowledge cause your constantly growing, and I can tell you now it has nothing to do with how I feel now. But it has everything to do with the fact that God loves me with everything in him, and leaving Him would not only break his heart, but mine for leaving the one person who truly loves me more than anyone else and leaving my identity behind.

So why do we believe in God? It has nothing to do with us, but everything to do with him, no matter how much you want to do right somehow pride will leak its way in. But everything God does is selfless, and pure I think we are all attracted to this missing link from our lives that was taken from humans in the Garden.
The end