(This is a short one)
I have been learning about trusting God, that means trusting Him even when i don't get what i ask for.
This last week I was stressed beyond belief, stressed because I wasn't sure what was going to happen.
stressed because I wanted things to go my way, when I knew that it was all God's plan, not mine.
Last week I tried out in the thorn for young Mary. Ever since I was little I've wanted to be like her.
When I would pray, I'd pray for God's will to be done, not mine.
I knew that I shouldn't pray that I'd get it because I've done that so many times, and of course things never went to plan.
Also last week I was praying about the Burn internship at _tag, I knew that if I was suppose to be in it then it was going to be completely God.
So the week came when i found out if I had gotten the part I tried out for.
Strangely enough I'd find out about Burn the same day.
I was at New life the entire day, and to my surprise i got into BURN!
There is no doubt in my mind that it was God. because my application didnt get through. I called Stefan Davis and talked to him wondering if my application had gotten to them, well it didnt, i met with Stefan and then Bam it was all God!
Well later that night I had this strange feeling, I felt that I would only get one thing that i had wanted.
strange but true, later at thorn i found out that i'm not young Mary. but i do have a small part.
i honestly was so excited and happy that God had shown His self to me! crazy i know but I feel as though God had humbled me this week, shown me that somethings that we may want aren't what he has planned.
This week I learned to trust God, how about you?
read psalms 45!!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Get ready
As i kept quite everyone else faded away the music and lyrics were no more, It was just me and God.
Sitting on the floor up in the mountains, all i could keep my mind on was Him. Hearing God speak to my heart.
I realized I was a selfish ignorant person. Even though I had longed to be like God... I really never tried.
I'd say I'll give up this, so I could have time with Him, but the next day I'd be giving into my selfish desires. I was a hypocrite, calling out others for the same things I was doing.
My heart broke I knew I was doing this, and I hated my self for it. What kind of person says they'll do one thing and doesn't? (the human race).
Three months down the road, change hit place. Taylor was leaving for Germany soon, what else could happen?
I was Excited to hear that Ross and Brent Parsley were taking their families down to Texas to do God's will down there. and yet I was a little sad.
the 14th late at night I was sitting in my room, crying, the realization hit me that my older brother was leaving in the morning.
At first my tears were of sorrow, then happiness, then discouragement.
I felt alone, I had felt that everyone that came into my life was taking away from it.
But that wasn't true. Taylor wasn't being taken away, he was leaving to do God's will. Once again my tears turned into joy
Then quietly in my room I prayed.
What I knew I'd miss the most after Taylor would leave was the car rides.
The car rides from Tag to home every Wednesday night.
Those moments when we'd talk about our days and both would listen and not interrupt the other.
We'd just listen to each other. something I knew I needed and was grateful for.
Not many people would care to listen to someone talk about their struggles or what was going on.
Our talks changed into talks of God and the Bible. I was so happy to have someone talk to me about what I was reading or what they were reading. I was searching for this for a long time! But I honestly never tried to talk about it with my friends, I seamed more dependent that they would bring it up.
WHY? I wanted to talk to people about this all the time but I wouldn't say anything.
The thing that gets me is that, this is normal! People go to church and that's it. that's their God time for the week.
It shouldn't stop there! We say that we wont do this, but we commit that sin again! why do we do this?!
Cause our sinful nature loves it. We as people are week, we give into sin and our own desires. When God is with us He strengthens us, so we can resist temptation.
The week before Taylor left, I experienced something.
I watched as those who loved each other gathered at my house and started to pray, and worship God.
I wanted this so bad! I longed for the fellowship that this group of friends shared!
I realized that I could. I was longing for something that I could do.
Get people together and fellowship! We think that someone else can take charge when maybe we're the ones that are suppose to, if your longing to talk with friends about God and your walk with Him, you bring it up, don't wait for someone else to. if you are really longing for it then do it.
All of you I love you so much. I am happy to call you my friends. To call all of you who came over last week my friends!
God has been preparing my heart since the United retreat 5 years ago, I just didn't realized until October.
In the silence from that night up in the mountains, everything became still,
as God spoke to me and said Get ready.
Hebrews 12:2-3
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scoring its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose hearts.
Revelation 3:8
I know your deeds. See i have places before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.
Sitting on the floor up in the mountains, all i could keep my mind on was Him. Hearing God speak to my heart.
I realized I was a selfish ignorant person. Even though I had longed to be like God... I really never tried.
I'd say I'll give up this, so I could have time with Him, but the next day I'd be giving into my selfish desires. I was a hypocrite, calling out others for the same things I was doing.
My heart broke I knew I was doing this, and I hated my self for it. What kind of person says they'll do one thing and doesn't? (the human race).
Three months down the road, change hit place. Taylor was leaving for Germany soon, what else could happen?
I was Excited to hear that Ross and Brent Parsley were taking their families down to Texas to do God's will down there. and yet I was a little sad.
the 14th late at night I was sitting in my room, crying, the realization hit me that my older brother was leaving in the morning.
At first my tears were of sorrow, then happiness, then discouragement.
I felt alone, I had felt that everyone that came into my life was taking away from it.
But that wasn't true. Taylor wasn't being taken away, he was leaving to do God's will. Once again my tears turned into joy
Then quietly in my room I prayed.
What I knew I'd miss the most after Taylor would leave was the car rides.
The car rides from Tag to home every Wednesday night.
Those moments when we'd talk about our days and both would listen and not interrupt the other.
We'd just listen to each other. something I knew I needed and was grateful for.
Not many people would care to listen to someone talk about their struggles or what was going on.
Our talks changed into talks of God and the Bible. I was so happy to have someone talk to me about what I was reading or what they were reading. I was searching for this for a long time! But I honestly never tried to talk about it with my friends, I seamed more dependent that they would bring it up.
WHY? I wanted to talk to people about this all the time but I wouldn't say anything.
The thing that gets me is that, this is normal! People go to church and that's it. that's their God time for the week.
It shouldn't stop there! We say that we wont do this, but we commit that sin again! why do we do this?!
Cause our sinful nature loves it. We as people are week, we give into sin and our own desires. When God is with us He strengthens us, so we can resist temptation.
The week before Taylor left, I experienced something.
I watched as those who loved each other gathered at my house and started to pray, and worship God.
I wanted this so bad! I longed for the fellowship that this group of friends shared!
I realized that I could. I was longing for something that I could do.
Get people together and fellowship! We think that someone else can take charge when maybe we're the ones that are suppose to, if your longing to talk with friends about God and your walk with Him, you bring it up, don't wait for someone else to. if you are really longing for it then do it.
All of you I love you so much. I am happy to call you my friends. To call all of you who came over last week my friends!
God has been preparing my heart since the United retreat 5 years ago, I just didn't realized until October.
In the silence from that night up in the mountains, everything became still,
as God spoke to me and said Get ready.
Hebrews 12:2-3
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scoring its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose hearts.
Revelation 3:8
I know your deeds. See i have places before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.
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